Editor's Note: Some sexually explicit content below (because Jordan clearly has some pent-up sexual energy) for entertainment purposes.
Whether you’re a man, woman, or somewhere in between, we all enjoy cumming. It’s a personal favorite pastime. But it’s worth mentioning that men who do it less, will likely live long and prosper. At least ejaculate less that is – men can certainly have multiple orgasms while saving our precious man-juice. On the contrary, our lovely female counterparts – you lucky, beautiful bitches you – stroke away. The more orgasms, the better.
What does blowing your load (or not) have to do with this post? Nothing really. But now that I’ve sufficiently tickled your fancy, let’s go balls deep (pun intended)…
Have you ever had a workout like Arnold describes? Where you felt like you were constantly cumming? Yeah, me neither. But you certainly know when you just crushed it. You’re breathing heavy. You’re fatigued. You’re hot. You’re like a fuckin slip-n-slide you’re so wet (ohhh, the sexual innuendos).
The aim is GAINS, broseph(ina)! And the more you do, the more you benefit, right? Ehhh, not really.
I used to hit the gym pretty hard damn near every day. Unless you’re a competitive athlete or training for something specific, that’s just silly. Most of us aren’t in either of these camps. Not only is there a distinct point of diminishing returns (think bell curve), but research indicates that excess exercise negatively impacts longevity. That’s right – too much of a seemingly good thing (like beatin your meat, guys) isn’t best for the long haul.
Minimum effective dose is what we’re talking about here, a concept popularized by Tim Ferriss in The Four Hour Body. If you’re like most people when it comes to exercise, your goal is basically to look and feel good, whether that means shedding some lbs, increasing/maintaining muscle mass, or some combination of the like. But don’t get it twisted: overall health is MUCH more about diet than exercise (it’s Bulletproof, bitch).
Pop quiz: Is it generally better for your overall health to jog for an hour or BUST YOUR ASS for 30 minutes?
I may have primed your response here, but nonetheless, if you chose the latter, you’re a smart cookie. Sorry to burst your bubble religious runners, but it turns out you’re probably better off slowin your roll.
HIIT – High Intensity Interval Training – that’s that shit we like. Work as hard as you can in short bursts. That’s not to say that aerobic exercise isn’t beneficial, but overall, intense anaerobic training gets you the best bang for your buck and should be a staple to your exercise regimen.
But there’s more…
Wtf was that? Ladies, gentlemen, Caitlyn Jenners (too soon?), meet ARX – the future of exercise. This contraption is a crusher of fitness souls. You think you’re Billy Badass, pumping out reps like you casually cock-crush your unassuming partner, then you experience adaptive resistance training, and you’re instantaneously emasculated. Maybe some extreme imagery there, but ARX is the real deal. I’ve been a competitive athlete my whole life, and I’ve experienced my fair share of ass-kicking workouts, but nothing compares to this. In about 10 minutes, you perform a full body workout, AND you’re operating at 100% capacity, 100% of the time.
We’ll use the bench press movement for reference. As you push forward, ARX resists your futile efforts, adapting in real-time to the amount of force exerted, letting you advance ever-so-slightly. The monitor in front of you uses software to show precisely the pressure you put forth at each fleeting moment, as you muscle through the hardest repetition you can possibly muster up. This is the concentric movement. Easy enough? Well, then we have eccentric movements – the AR ‘X’ Factor (puns on POINT).
You think you’re done. You HOPE TO GOD you’re done. But buddy, you’ve only just begun. Now comes the hard part. Just as you finish your punishing push movement, ARX pulls at you, and so begins the eccentric movement. In the same but opposite manner, you now resist with all your might as ARX pulls into your chest. Don’t let that asshole get you! Inevitably, she does, that relentless wreaker of havoc.
At this point, you’ve just spent about 15 seconds doing one repetition – the hardest of your life – and you have only a few more to go. Naturally, your strength stock deteriorates rapidly as you finish the set, but guess what? Not only did those pectorals work literally as hard as they possibly could, every split second, but you’re also done with that exercise in just one set. This muscle group is completely spent in less than a couple minutes. How about that for efficiency?
At this point, you can call it a day with the gnarliest chest workout of your life, or you choose the straight stud route and move through the various other movements (squat, leg press, lat pulls, etc.). In the end, you’ve spent all of a handful of minutes metaphorically sodomizing your muscular system. And the best part is – you don’t need to do it again for another week or so. Your body got the abuse it longs for, and now you’re in recovery mode.
This is still brand new technology, so there aren’t yet clinical trials or peer-reviewed research reports formally supporting any claims, but preliminary signs indicate the long term benefits of using this machine are many. I firmly believe people are going to live longer, healthier lives as a direct result of this technology. ARX’s built-in software tracks progress over time and the people who have been using this system consistently over the course of several months or up to 1+ years have experienced ongoing increases in strength across the board. Their DEXA scans show increases in bone density – literally stronger bones. The implications for the effects of overall health and longevity are virtually endless. This is Body by Science on steroids, minus the needles.
Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t have consistent access to this kind of machinery, but the philosophy remains – go as hard as you can in relatively short bursts. HIIT will give you the most beneficial effects across the board.
Next time you decide to go yogging, consider instead doing ten second sprints with a light thirty-second jog in between for a few cycles until you think you might pass out and/or throw up. When you’re taking two-minute breaks in between sets at the gym, fraternizing and trying to pick up on honeys, why not do full body exercises with some supersets? You know what really gets the ladies all hot a bothered? A guy panting and dripping in sweat because he just made that workout his bottom bitch. Now cut the small talk and get that smokeshow’s digits after the marvelous display of stamina.
To summarize: Guys, stop blowing your load like a goddamn dump truck. Ladies, get as much dick as you can. And both of you pretentious primates, DO LESS!
Find out more information about ARX, including leasing opportunities for your business/personal use, or to be notified when ARX lands in your city. Also, you can check them out in person at the upcoming Bulletproof Conference!
Learn more about Jordan and read more by him here.